Rules & Tips
About Swinger rules and agreements between each other as a couple is a lot to say, Mosts thing we mention here are our own idea, how you deal with this is 100% up to you!
We have only one rule: If you play with someone else, don’t hold back, enjoy for the full 100%.
Why did we agree to this, it means , anything is permitted. We noticed already after the first time wen we just started, You never know what you in to at the moment and it’s also depending of the play partner.
We noticed that the rules gave options to get in a fight together, not for what happened, we actually didn’t cared about it, it was because we made rules and agreements between each other as a couple, and felt betrayed because of the breach of the rules and agreements.
How do we deal with things that we didn’t like or would rather see differently? We never discuss it in the club, on a party, on the way back to home or even not that night. Why not? First: it’s not important, Second: it already happened, Third: We have no rules, so we can’t get angry about anything, Fourth: We only know if we don’t like something after we tried it. Fifth and last: Sometimes you will see things different after one or two days.
If the moment is there, and never in a fight about something els, we talk about it, probably with a coffee on a terrace, but always if both in a good mood. And then? Do we then have a new rule? no, all keeps the same, anything goes. But then way talk about it, just to ventilate and see what was the fantasy from your partner at that moment, probably after that we understand and even like it.
Tips we want to give you are: (we don’t use them all ourselves)
- Taking one for the team: don’t do it, it’s not good for yourself, not honest for your play partner and you will get in a fight because the balance will never be equal.
- If you need ruls, keep them basic: Things like, No separate rooms, No singles, Always use a condom, No anal, ect. But we think if you have more then five rules you better not start swinging.
- Don’t drink too much: nobody likes a drunk person on top or below. Only drink maximum two mixes, three wine or four beers.
- Drugs: We don’t use drugs when swinging, we don’t mind drugs, but we think drugs is mostly used as an excuse to do all you want and be able to hide behind it. Drugs we think can be nice in a private situation, together or with people who you know and trust and use the same. If you need drugs to swing, don’t start or stop swinging.
- No means no: if someone telling you No, it’s no. It doesn’t matter if it’s another person or your own partner.
- Rejection of an invite to play: Just say, no thanks. Never explain yourself if you don’t want to play with that person. If it’s because you are too tied, or something like that, and it’s more of a, not at this moment, maybe later or another day, then you can just tell it. Using maybe later or another day for someone you don’t like, it’t will only give you more problems later on.
- Condoms use: You probably have rules about it, we understand but….. You kiss, suck, lick, ect. why then still use a condom? Isn’t it hypocrite? STD’s yes, possible, but all the same things you can get from kissing, sucking, licking, ect. To protect against HIV just use PrEP, all other thing are no fun to get but always they gan be resolved with a couple ff pills. Just get tested every couple of months.
- Getting it up & Getting wet: Men can sometimes, because of nerves, can’t get an erection. It mostly has nothing to do with the play partner, don’t say “don’t you find me attractive” or something like that, Viagra, Cialis ect. will not help for the problem. Girls have the same problem sometimes, the can’t get wet sometimes, but so much easier solving it, just always have some lubricant in your surrounding, men don’t mind and mostly like it.
- Be aware of non couples: lots of single men rent an escort, we don’t mean a hooker, but someone who escorts the single men. mostly because the single men wants to get in the couple’s area, want to play with your partner only the escort will almost always make an excuse to not play.
- Annoying people: this can be couples and singles, alway go talk with your party hosts or the club staff . It’s their task to go talk with the other party and make thing clear or ask them to leave.
- Getting feelings for your play partner: Liking someone is no problem, loving someone is possible as a goed friend, falling in love is a problem. This mostly happens wen you play more often with someone, When you even think it would be possible, take your distance, be open about it, don’t stop to late, you partner will understand! Just know and think, couples always have problems, i don’t mean together, then they just don’t start or need to stop swinging, i mean money, family, job, ect., ect., there’s a saying about it “The grass seems always greener at the other side of the fence”. We changed the saying in to “If the grass seems greener at the other side of the fence, it’s probably artificial grass” meaning, They also will have some things happening in their life, and if you switch partners it will all be the same after a few weeks. Of cours we don’t say stay in a bad relationship, your life is too short, always try to stay happy.
- Checking partner during play: Don’t do it, it’s annoying for everyone. if people do it, just get out off the situation, don’t be angry or afraid for their feelings, they just not ready for swinging, they don’t like the situation, don’t trust each other, or one of the couple is not really in to swinging or even feels subconsciously obliged to make their spouse happy.
- Nice clothes are attractive, especially on a woman. Dressed nice at home, Changing your outfit to a towel when you arrive at a club can be comforting but will not help your figure. Are going to play, just put on a nice short and sexy dress (you can find them online starting at 5 euro) , lingerie also can be nice. Walking on slippers as a woman will also not help your figure, make sure you have a comfortable shoe with a high heel so you also can wear it if you go to the play areas.
Swinging is all about freedom, don’t make it about rules! Swinging is only playing, nothing else.